Intrusive Thoughts: Why Having a Thought Doesn’t Mean You Want It
You’re driving and suddenly think:
What if I swerved into the other lane?
You’re holding your baby and an upsetting image flashes through your mind.
You’re in an important meeting and your brain produces the most inappropriate thought imaginable.
Then comes the second thought:
Why did I think that?
And sometimes the third:
What does that say about me?
Intrusive thoughts can be disturbing precisely because they often involve things we don’t want to think about.
What Is an Intrusive Thought?
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted thoughts, images, impulses, or mental pictures that seem to appear without invitation.
They can involve almost anything, including:
Harm
Relationships
Sex
Religion
Health
Making mistakes
Losing control
Saying or doing something inappropriate
Most people experience odd or unwanted thoughts from time to time.
The thought itself isn’t necessarily the problem.
What happens after the thought can become the problem.
A Thought Isn’t an Intention
Our brains generate an enormous amount of mental activity.
Not every thought reflects a desire, belief, value, or intention.
If your brain suddenly produces the thought, “What if I dropped my phone off this balcony?” it doesn’t mean you’ve secretly wanted to destroy your phone.
Brains are weird sometimes.
But when an intrusive thought touches something deeply important to us, it can feel much more threatening.
Someone who deeply values being a good parent may be especially disturbed by an intrusive thought involving their child.
Someone whose faith is important may become extremely distressed by an unwanted religious thought.
The distress itself often tells us something important:
The thought may be upsetting precisely because it conflicts with what you value.
The Trap of Trying Not to Think About It
Try something.
For the next 30 seconds, do not think about a pink elephant.
How did that go?
Trying desperately not to think about something often makes the thought more noticeable.
Intrusive thoughts can work the same way.
We may start checking:
“Did I really mean that?”
“Why did I think it?”
“What if I lose control?”
Then we seek reassurance, mentally review what happened, avoid certain situations, or repeatedly test whether the thought is still there.
The brain learns that the thought must be important because we’re spending so much energy trying to get rid of it.
Intrusive Thoughts and OCD
Intrusive thoughts can occur with anxiety, trauma, depression, and other conditions. They are also commonly associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder, or OCD.
OCD is often misunderstood as simply being extremely organized or wanting things clean.
In reality, OCD can involve distressing obsessions and compulsions that aren’t obvious to other people.
Some compulsions happen entirely inside someone’s mind, such as reviewing memories, mentally checking feelings, repeating phrases, or trying to prove that an intrusive thought isn’t true.
Because these symptoms can feel embarrassing or frightening, people sometimes wait years before talking about them.
You Don’t Have to Argue With Every Thought
An important skill can be learning to notice thoughts without treating each one as meaningful.
Instead of:
“I had this thought. What does it mean?”
You might practice:
“I noticed my brain produced that thought.”
That’s a very different relationship with your thoughts.
When to Reach Out
If intrusive thoughts are consuming significant amounts of time, causing intense distress, leading you to avoid people or situations, or resulting in repeated checking or reassurance-seeking, talking with a mental health professional can help.
Effective treatments are available for OCD and anxiety-related intrusive thoughts.
And perhaps most importantly, you can talk about uncomfortable thoughts in therapy.
Therapists have heard a lot more than most people realize.
A Gentle Reflection
The next time an unwanted thought appears, notice what happens next.
Do you immediately try to analyze it, eliminate it, or prove it wrong?
What would happen if you simply noticed:
“There’s that thought again.”
And allowed it to pass?
Turning Point Counseling & Consulting
If intrusive thoughts, anxiety, or obsessive patterns are interfering with your life, support is available. Turning Point Counseling & Consulting provides individualized mental health services for children, adolescents, and adults.
Visit HERE to learn more about our clinicians and services.
